You know you've been in Singapore too long when...

1. You don't know what's lame and what isn't anymore.
2. You think there's nothing wrong with putting chili sauce on everything you eat.
3. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.
4. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a ticket for the next queue
5. You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.
6. You know what "queue" means!!
7. You've lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions than you, even if they're wrong.
8. You would buy a $20 product you don't need if it's on sale for $10 just to save the money.
9. You forget to say the last consonant in words like "faCT", "aTE", etc.
10. Every task you take on and every group you form is incomplete without a mission statement and a cheesy slogan.
11. "Crossing the country" means taking the MRT to the end of the line.
12. You don't just know what "kiasu" means, you have become it!
13. You think that corn and beans are dessert foods.
14. You would cross the entire country all day to find the places that make the perfect fried noodles, or roti prata, or ice kacang,or chili crab. And none of these places would be close to each other.
15. You have a high tolerance for nagging.
16. Most or all of these acronyms make sense to you: NUS; NTU; ERP; SDU; PAP; MRT; LKY; GCT; PRC; TIBS; SBS; SMS; JB; JBJ; AMK; AYE; PIE; ECP; CTE; BKE; ISD; ISA; 5 C's; CPF; CHIJMES; SPG; CWO; LTA; URA; MOM; SIR; COE; EP; IRAS; EDB; CBD.
17. You use too many acronyms when you talk, or you create new ones.

18. You think that nothing makes a girl or guy more attractive than to dress exactly like hundreds of thousands of other girls and guys who all dress exactly like girls and guys in malls.

19. You think that $65,000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla Altis and $1,000,000 is a bloody cheap for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.
20. You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside Singapore is enough to keep the best and the brightest people from leaving.
21. You see nothing wrong with forming committees of select elite people to deliberate and study ways to stimulate creativity and spontaneity.
22. You justify every argument with the phrase "in order for us to be competitive in the 21st century".
22. You think everything should be "topped up".

23. You blame the government, country, society ...... instead of yourself...

24. You wear winter clothes indoors and summer clothes outdoors.
25. You like to have fun, but not too much fun, since you need to correctly gauge the amount of fun necessary to achieve the optimal result. Any more fun that would bring shame to your family and your country.
25. You think paying $150 for a bottle of booze in a pub that costs $30 at home is a bargain.
26. You're not confused by a street naming system that locates streets like Clementi Road, Clementi Street, Clementi Crescent,Clementi Lane, Clementi Drive, Clementi Way, and Clementi Avenues 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 all within Walking distance of each other.
27. You think that skinny girls and guys are the most attractive of all. (How did they get so skinny in the first place?? Do you know how much oil is in nasi lemak, char kuay teow, duck rice, and your average curry.)
28. You get irritated if you don't see a sign telling you how long your wait's going to be for a bus, a train, or the expressway to take you where you want to go.
29. You're certain that Holland Village is for hippie bohemian artist types and not overpaid yuppies.
30. When you cross the border into Malaysia, you automatically and deeply fear for your life and your wallet. Especially your wallet!!

31. No matter how miserable you may be here, you thank God you're not in Indonesia.

32. You say "hand phones", not "mobile phones" nor "cell phones".

33 And you think there's no such thing as a hand phone that's too thin.

34. You're sure that the best way to change social behavior is through consistent and comprehensive government-sponsored campaigns that permeate as many aspects of daily life as possible. And when they don't work, you never speak of them again.
35. You think chicken floss, corn, mayonnaise, and tandoori spices are proper pizza toppings.
36. You agree that what the government thinks of your personal habits and lifestyle should determine whether you get a condo and how much you pay for it.
37. You accept that expressways here are cleaner than toilets rather than the other way around.
38. You drive across the island and spend half an hour idling in a queue just to save 10% on the most expensive fuel because that is all the "discount" petrol stations offer.
39. You watch Tamil soap operas on Central, even though you can't understand a word they're saying, because despite the fact there are 30 channels available to you, there is nothing else worth watching.
40. If the temperature varies by a degree either way you complain that is either too cold to swim or too hot Lah!

41. You add "lah", "liao", "lor", "leh".... to the end of every sentence.

42. You think by crossing the bridge to Johore Bahru your are traveling overseas and you will get a lot international experience
43. You start to understand why people buy a 250 horsepower , 4 liter, 4 wheel-drive cars with cruise control and traction control on an island with a speed limit of 80 km/h , 100 km of highways and no snow.
44. All disputes end "win-win"
45. Walking distance is 10 meters

46. You know how much your friends are paying for rent, how much their car costs, what the make of their watch is and how much it cost.

47. You find yourself calling the elderly cleaners, 'uncle' , everyone older than you becomes your relative, your uncle or auntie.
48. You mis-count the numbers of uncles and aunts you actually have.

49. When riding any two-wheeled vehicle, you wear your jacket with the zipper facing backwards.
50. In bars, you consider it perfectly normal to wait 15 minutes for your change after ordering a drink. You spend S$200/night on alcohol alone without batting an eyelash.
51. You consider it perfectly acceptable for people to take mobile phone calls in the middle of meetings, as long as they politely face away from the table while they talk.
52. You don't get annoyed when you're not given a napkin with your chili pepper crab or you now carry around little packs of nose tissue when you go out for lunch.

53. You go to the gym and (a) sit on the equipment talking or (b) hang out by the pool/ sauna (c) flirt (d) hope to look like a hunk or a babe without sweating (e) ask for telephone numbers from total strangers !!!!!!!!!!!

54. You serve warm water to guests even if their sweating profusely.
55. You've stopped waiting for people to exit an elevator, the train, etc. before pushing your way in.
56. You think it's normal to get 5 copies of each brochure/folder that is put into your mail box.

57. You didn't know your $200,000 car came with an indicator. You assumed this was an optional extra.

58. You stop turning around in the cinema hall, wondering why on earth no one else is roaring with laughter.
59. You actually start understanding what people on the other end of the line are saying & you stop saying 'excuse me' & prefer 'wha lah ?'

60. It No longer amazes you when you are asked by a young girl outside the cinema box office to buy her 4 tickets off her for 'Peter Pan' at a dollar less per ticket, because she really needed the tickets only so that she could get the Free Note Book that came with them.(which probably only cost S$1.25)

61. You've started saying "Hello? Hello?" when the person on the other end of the phone pauses for more than 2 seconds.
62. You are no longer irritated when the phone rings and the person on the other end - after a series of hellos - asks "who is this?" and becomes indignant when you ask the same question back.
63. You are no longer amazed that everyone in the office will punctually leave at 12 noon for lunch and under no circumstances will they miss this start time for munching

64. You stop cracking jokes about other cultures etc as you now find them politically insensitive!!!!!!!!

65. You actually are concerned that your new job does not have the title of "executive to the executive vice president to the vice president of the president"
66. You start to care what others think about your social life, dress sense, humour, appearance an income!!!
67. You wear sunglasses after dark because everyone else is.
68. You put your bag on a table before going up to order.
69. You should buy the most expensive house you can afford so you cannot afford to furnish it.
70. You nap on your desk at lunch.
71. You use an umbrella in the sun.

72. You realise that the "Great Singapore Sale" is really a good excuse to get you to the shops in the hope you will still pay full price for everything.
73. You start to realise that despite trying a new pub/club/bar every weekend, you're never going to actually find one that's really what you're after.
74. You empty the whole platter of prawns onto your plate at the buffet lunch.
75. You think it's perfectly acceptable to drink beer out of a pint glass.
76. You think it's perfectly acceptable for men to drink alcopops.
77. You think the long fingernail on the little finger is not only the most useful hygiene implement, but it is also a fashion statement.

78. When you pass speed cameras, you slow down to 20 km BELOW the posted speed limit…just in case!

79. It is normal to stop at a red light 2 lanes over from a police car & both of you sit & watch as a 3rd car speeds through the red light nearly causing an accident.
80. You no longer shake your head when you watch a movie that has had all the gratuitous violence edited out & the next morning see a bloody, dead body on the front page of the Straits Times.
81. You no longer say excuse me when you bump into someone.
82. You have forgotten what coffee with real milk tastes like, or worse, condensed milk or powder whitener are preferred.

83. You feel obliged to contribute $50 to the wreath of the tea lady's 100 year old grandfather who died, because the contributions are documented on a piece of paper that circulates around the office, and you must 'save face'.
84. You never tip anyone, even if they've gone out of their way for you.
85. You pay thousands of dollars on a handbag, but whinge if there isn't enough chicken in your $3 chicken rice.
86. Same, really - spend $200K on a new Merc, but park by the road till 9 am rather than pay $1.50 ERP.
87. You bring a blanket/ pullover to the movies because you know that you will freeze to death if you don't.You quite got around to wearing earplugs - though you know that you should.
When talking about equipment you say "off it" or "on it", instead of "turn it off" or "turn it on".
88. When walking along the steet and a man puts the finger along his nose and snots on the path in front of you, rather than register disgust and nausea, you instead just make a mental note just to walk around it.
89. You know that if you need anything fixed in your appartment that it will mean a visit from at least 6 people and only one of them will actually be doing anything.

- Two workers - one who does the work and the other who hands him things and watches.
- A supervisor to oversee the two workers.
- A representative from the management committee to oversee what it happening and keep the committee informed
- An assistant to the representative from the management committee - just in case he needs something.


90. You understand everything on this list!!

//ZenEkz cant agree more...//